Every November, I find myself thinking about the families who sit across from me in my office, families trying to make sense of change they didn’t expect. Maybe that’s why this story from one of my clients, whom I’ll call Laura, stayed with me. She told it not long after a particularly difficult Thanksgiving some years ago, and I think about it every year around this time.
Laura’s Thanksgiving had all the usual pieces: the smell of roasted turkey, cousins laughing in the living room, her mom humming in the kitchen. But this year felt different. Her mom, once the center of every holiday meal, was quieter. She moved a little slower. Earlier in the day, she’d forgotten where the serving spoons were kept – something she’d known for decades.
Laura said she had been noticing changes for a while. Missed appointments, unpaid bills, stories repeated word for word. Her brothers said she was overreacting, but when her mom burned her hand on the oven door that afternoon, no one could ignore it anymore. It was a small accident, but it changed everything.
After dinner, when the house had finally settled, Laura gathered her family around the table. They talked honestly for the first time about what might come next—who would help with bills, who could take their mom to appointments, what she’d want if her health declined. Laura mentioned that she’d spoken with an attorney about powers of attorney, advance directives, and long-term care options. She thought maybe it was time to get those things in order.
Her brothers resisted at first. They told her Not today and But it’s Thanksgiving! But Laura reminded them that it was exactly the right time. They were all together, and they could talk before a crisis forced them to. By the end of the evening, they’d agreed to meet with an attorney after the holidays to put a plan in place.
When Laura shared this story with me, I could hear the mix of relief and sadness in her voice. Her mom’s memory wasn’t what it used to be, but at least now, her family was working as a team. They were going make a plan.
That’s the part I wish more families understood is that planning doesn’t make these situations disappear, but it does make them gentler. A power of attorney makes sure someone can step in to handle finances or make health decisions if needed. Advance care documents, like a living will, give loved ones clear guidance about what kind of medical care is wanted. And having a plan for long-term care and how to pay for it, whether at home or in a facility, helps families make choices based on love, not panic.
Holidays often bring these things into focus. When we gather, we notice small changes we might miss during the rest of the year, like a forgotten name, an unsteady walk, a repeated question. Those moments can feel scary, but they can also be invitations to start a conversation.
It’s never easy to bring up topics like aging or illness around the dinner table, but planning ahead means fewer surprises, fewer disagreements, and more peace of mind for everyone involved. If you see signs that someone you love may need more support, talk about it. Not as a legal task, but as a family act of care. These conversations protect the very thing we value most: the time we have together.
Our firm’s mission has always been to help families plan for life’s unexpected turns so they can spend less time worrying and more time living fully. This Thanksgiving, as you sit around your own table, I hope Laura’s story reminds you that love and preparation go hand in hand.
The information provided is not intended to be legal or tax advice and does not constitute any attorney/client relationship. You should consult with an attorney for individual advice regarding your own situation.
Ms. Melancon is an attorney with Legacy Estate & Elder Law of Louisiana, LLC with offices in Baton Rouge, New Orleans and Lake Charles, LA. The primary focus of her practice is estate planning, probate, special needs planning, and elder law. For more information or to attend an upcoming estate planning seminar, call her office at (225) 744-0027.
